It’s always fun to meet a new person at work or in the neighborhood. What may not be so fun is trying to feel out their political leanings without setting off a chain of comments that lead to criminal activity. It has become important to be able to learn more about your new friends before revealing that you voted for Trump or Hillary or are re-reading Mein Kampf. Here is a simple way to identify the political beliefs of someone new in your life without asking them anything. All you need to do is pay attention to how they phrase one particular question. Listen closely for this:

“This healthcare thing is crazy. Do you believe a single payer healthcare system is a good idea?”

Your answer should be, “My Wife/Husband/Partner is calling, one sec”. Then walk away with your phone to your ear. Don’t answer the question, it’s a set-up. Bringing up single payer means this is a neoliberal follower of Nobama and Killary. These people are corporatists disguised as supporters of the people and their idea of single payer is just a system of more corporate welfare to the most powerful companies in return for the same insurance nonsense we already have. These people should be avoided.

Killary Klinton

Killary Klinton

“This healthcare thing is crazy. Do you believe socialized medicine is a good idea?”

Your answer should be, “Hang on my burrito just dinged”. Act like you just heard the microwave ding and walk into the cafeteria/lunch area/printing closet/kitchen to get your “burrito”. They won’t notice what you did because they are an ultra-right-wing conservative stooge. They will claim you should pull yourself up by your own bootstraps. They will then fail to mention their mommy bought them their first bootstraps at age nine and those straps were made of yachts and children’s tears. You will then notice their shoes use Velcro straps and that any further attempt to clarify or expand upon the bootstrap metaphor would be a waste on this turd.

John McCain

“This healthcare thing is crazy. Do you believe Medicare for all is a good idea?”

This is a Berniecrat and may be the worst in show. They think because a government program has worked well for a large segment of the country that it will work for everyone. These followers of “Crazy” Bernie want tax dollars to return value to the citizens that pay it at the expense of hard working pharmaceutical companies, insurance providers, and even the U.S. Military Industrial Complex that protects everyone, especially children. They know that the government can’t manage anything, much less something as important and complicated as health care. When was the last time your garbage got picked up? When was the last burning house extinguished or road built? Do you even have running water? Does the mail service even run anymore? No, this never works because fat cat mail service workers ruined it for everyone. All taxation is rape.

“Howling Mad” Bernie Sanders